I’ve often found myself saying ‘I just wish I’d broken the bone’ This may seem odd but ligaments are tricky to repair and heal. I was facing a week in plaster, four in a splint and a further eight to twelve of physio with my hand in and out of a brace.
Along with the mental challenges came the practical reality that I could no longer function normally day to day. All of the things I took for granted: driving, washing, eating, cooking, I simply and suddenly couldn’t do. This was a shock and left me feeling totally helpless. I felt invalidated as a fully functional human. I started to withdraw, didn’t go out and didn’t see friends. I felt conscious of my brace and hated people asking questions as it embarrassed me. I felt it had started to define me.
Apart from family and a few close friends I don’t think people realised the severity of the injury, the consequences or the implications. I felt very anxious and constantly afraid that the repair would fail and I’d be left with a hand I could no longer use.
I remember, on a brighter note, trying to eat an avocado one day and chasing it around the plate with a knife. It’s actually quite funny when I think about it now although I got quite upset and cross at the time. It is actually impossible to cut and eat an avocado with one hand!