Feeling helpless

I’ve often found myself saying ‘I just wish I’d broken the bone’ This may seem odd but ligaments are tricky to repair and heal. I was facing a week in plaster, four in a splint and a further eight to twelve of physio with my hand in and out of a brace.

Along with the mental challenges came the practical reality that I could no longer function normally day to day. All of the things I took for granted: driving, washing, eating, cooking, I simply and suddenly couldn’t do. This was a shock and left me feeling totally helpless. I felt invalidated as a fully functional human. I started to withdraw, didn’t go out and didn’t see friends. I felt conscious of my brace and hated people asking questions as it embarrassed me. I felt it had started to define me.

Apart from family and a few close friends I don’t think people realised the severity of the injury, the consequences or the implications. I felt very anxious and constantly afraid that the repair would fail and I’d be left with a hand I could no longer use. 

I remember, on a brighter note, trying to eat an avocado one day and chasing it around the plate with a knife. It’s actually quite funny when I think about it now although I got quite upset and cross at the time. It is actually impossible to cut and eat an avocado with one hand!

Published by AnnaH

My name's Anna and I decided to write a blog following an accident last year. I will never regain the full use of my right hand and an operation led to additional, ongoing complications. This is about my struggles following the accident and the challenges of trying to save the use I still have in my hand. It’s a story about my product and why it appeared in my head one day because of my traumatic experiences. How I took that positive vision and worked towards bringing it to life. The challenges of putting it together and getting it to the market whilst still undergoing debilitating, ongoing treatment. It's a journey you can share with me. I'm not there yet...

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